Life!?

A lot has happened in the last month and I'm not quite sure how to even begin. My life has been a whirlwind and I don't see an end to it yet. I've decided that the only way I can face writing this down is to not worry about the hundreds of pictures that have been taken. We have had 2 birthdays, a baptism, and a funeral. Bare with me, here I go.

Tuesday, January 27, I received a phone call from Lehua about 12:00 saying that Mom's cancer was to far advanced to be part of a trial study that is suppose to help enhance the chemo, should chemo even be done. Heartbreak! That means her cancer is way further than I know. By 7:00 I get another phone call saying that if she does chemo she has a couple of months, without chemo she only has a couple of weeks.

Thursday, January 29. Leilani calls. Mom isn't doing chemo. She wants us all up there today, she says she only has days left, she has work to do on the other side. Devastation! Leilani and I already had plans to go the next day so babysitters were already in place for Friday. I packed and left at 4:20. I would pick up Leilani and Marc at the airport and continue up to the hospital. We arrive at the hospital around 11:00. Mom is still awake waiting for us. She had been asking for us all day, she knows that once she goes to sleep she won't have the clear mind she has had for a couple of days. We arrive and she is able to talk to us. She let us know it's ok and it's her time. Leilani, Kuliana and myself stay the night with her in the hospital.

Friday, January 30. Today is Parkers birthday. They celebrate without me. We bring Mom home to care for her with the help of Hospice. We are her care givers now. We stay with her round the clock.

We share treasured moments that we will have the rest of our lives. Together as a family we were able to come to terms with Mom returning home to our Heavenly Father. By Sunday night we didn't think she would make it through the night. She did. Over the next couple of days she perked up a little. Enough that all of her brothers and sisters, except one were able to come and visit one last time.

Tuesday, February 3. Today is Alani's birthday. I'm still with Mom and miss another birthday. Thanks to friends, she still received cake and ice cream. I have to say thanks to Sabra and Susan for watching Hayden and Kaleb while I'm away.

By Wednesday I feel it's ok to come back home. Not know how long Mom will hang on, I've been able to say my good byes. (Mom had told us days, and it was, with her being coherent.) Eric had been doing a great job being Mr. Mom but my family needed me. Parker and Alani were sick.

I return home Thursday. I try to get back to everyday life but it's hard. Thoughts of Mom are constantly with me.

Friday, February 13. The whole family heads up to Pima for Alani and cousin Raely's baptism. It's good to go back and see Mom. I didn't think she could get worse than she was when I left her a week ago but I was wrong.

Saturday, February 14. Alani and Raely are baptized. It was a wonderful baptism. Alani and Raely sang a baptism song my Mom wrote for me when I turned 8. They did a great job. It was sad to not have Mom there but great to have so many other family members there. We had dinner afterwards and were able to enjoy every ones company and support.

Monday, February 16. It's time to go home and it's hard to leave knowing that I'll never see Mom alive again. I'm a peace and know it's ok. We get home about 10:00 that night.

Tuesday, February 17. The phone rings at 4:00 in the morning. It's the phone call that we all knew would come. Mom had passed away. It was a bitter sweet moment. Our prayers had been answered, she was no longer in pain and suffering. She was no longer confined to bed unable to communicate and do all the things she loved to do. She was now free having a great reunion with her Father and Mother.

The next several days were spent preparing to travel back to Pima. I can say that Tuesday was a really hard day, but the peace and comfort that followed was amazing.

Friday, February 19. We load up and head back to Pima.

With having the gospel in our lives, we knew all would be ok. Saturday all my sisters and a couple of Mom's sisters were able to dress Mom and do her hair. It was very calming to be able to see her. Another treasured moment. Sunday night we had Mom's viewing. It lasted 2 hours. It was a huge reunion with family and old friends. It was a joyous night, we were defiantly at peace.

Monday, February 22, Mom's funeral. It was a beautiful service. Mom had planned her funeral before she ever became sick and she did an incredible job. Music was a big part of Mom's life and the music that day was incredible. All of Mom's siblings and all my siblings were able to participate in it. We all walked away from this service and along with many others, commenting on that what we all had learned from my Mom is to strive to do your best and live your life to the fullest.

I have to say at this point that I have the best parents and siblings ever! My parents raised us all in the gospel and helped shape and mold the great success we all are today. I'm not talking success according to the world but success according to our spiritual well being and a desire to live life the best we can. As for my siblings they are great support! We all get along really well, there are 7 of us. Even when emotions are running high and stupid things are said, they are willing to forgive, forget and move on. I've watched others where this life changing event would have torn their family apart but it has only brought us closer together.

Wednesday, February 24. Time to come home and try to get back into our normal lives. Well at least that's what I thought.

Monday, March 2. Normalcy was out the window. It was time for a huge change in our lives. Things didn't work out with Eric's work as we had hoped. So, it was decided that night through prayer that it was time to sell the house and move on. We are going to move in with my Dad for a little bit. It'll be good for us while we sell our house and it'll be good for my Dad as he's trying to get used to his new life.

This all leads me to today, Sunday March 8. I've spent the last 5 days frantically packing up the house and will continue to do this all week. We are aiming to leave this coming Saturday.

My life feels like it's spinning out of control but it's not. If there is anything that I can say about everything that has happened in the last month is this: I know that there is a loving Heavenly Father who knows exactly what my family and myself are going through. I have felt his love, his comfort, and he has brought me great peace. We know we are to move to Pima. After that we don't know what will happen. I do know that Heavenly Father will lead and guide us until we are at the destination we are suppose to be!