Small Spaces

In the back of my head I knew I had a small fear of confined spaces but it was confirmed to me on Monday. I've been having head issues for the last year. Basically the best way to describe it is I feel like I have a head cold all the time. I finally decided to get into a doctor to see if they had any ideas. The Dr. wanted to do some scans on my brain to see if the pressure was correct and to make sure nothing else was wrong so on Monday I was off for an MRI.

I got ready, laid down on the table, he covered me in blankets (I didn't understand why because I was dying of heat) and lowered this mask thing inches from my face. On this mask it had two mirrors in it so when your laying there you can see the technician in the next room. As he started to move me back into the machine I totally freaked out. I started to sweat and hyperventilate. I felt totally and completely confined and the blankets weren't helping. He instantly asked if I was OK and of course I wasn't, I wanted out!! He brought me back out and I had to sit up. I was not going to go back in that thing for anything. I thought I was going to die. The technician and Eric tried to talk me back into it but in my mind that was never going to happen, ever. I asked what my other options were. He said I could have and open MRI done or a CAT Scan but that the images wouldn't be as clear. Apparently this was the best thing. The technician than went on to say that we should reschedule and have the Dr. give me a sedative to help me relax. The thought of having to come back and think about it every minute of the day until it happened again got me to change my mind. There was no way I was going to go through the misery, stress, and anxiety of coming back. I said I would try again. They do give you this bulb to hold in your hand to squeeze if there is any problems. It alerts him and he comes to the rescue. He promised he would have me out within 7 seconds if I couldn't handle it.

This time as he lowered the face mask and then sent me back into the machine I kept my eyes closed. The first time I opened them and watched the walls close in on me. My plan this time was to keep my eyes closed the entire time and to follow the advice you hear all the way back in Primary. When your scared and need help pray and sing primary songs. That's exactly what I did! I started out breathing very rapidly but it helped calm me enough to get started. With my eyes closed and the cool air they had blowing on me I eventually semi-relaxed. I got my breathing under control. By the end I was able to visualize myself being out in the open on the couch with a nice cool breeze blowing. I was even thrilled to have those blankets on me because I got cold.

The scans took about 25 minutes. I was so glad when that was over. I was still a little shook up but I did it. I was very pleased with myself for getting through it. Who would of known a couple of scans would be so huge!!

The Dr. looked at the scans and said everything looks fine. He sent them off to radiology for them to look over but he doesn't think they'll find anything wrong.